ATTN:

Sometimes it comes in an unanswered prayer. For me, I think it always comes in an unanswered prayer. Whenever I start thinking or planning something that isn't the will of God, He's pretty good about - huwack! - cutting me off!

I've prayed for some pretty silly stuff in my days. Some of it God has actually given to me. Some of it I changed my mind about before it really matter. Most of it He reject, Praise the LORD!!

But what has led me to pray for things against the will of God and my best interests (because the two are always one in the same)? Convenience. Lust. Jealousy. Selfishness. Recently, it's been convenience. My pure desperation for one thing in my life has led me to pray for it even when I know that the paths I'm praying over are the wrong ones. This things is something I know God wants for me. I'm just sick of waiting. I haven't even been waiting that long. The waiting is actually good. It's a blessing that God keeps ignoring my pleas. At the same time, I still want it to happen.

I can think of several distinct moments where if God had let me go down the path, not only would it not have ended the way I wanted, I also would have been so much more miserable than I can ever imagine. I praise God everyday for shut doors in my life. I pray that He would always shut doors for my own sake. I'm pretty good at knowing when God has shut the door versus when Satan is trying to stop me.

On this topic there are two prayers that I ask God would not leave unanswered: that He would shut any door that is not His will and that the only door He leaves open would be the one I'm supposed to take. So far, He's kept those promises. It's been 7 years since He made it. This is just another sign He plans to keep it.

I think unanswered prayers are my favorite way for God to speak to me. They humble me. They show me how big of a fool I am for thinking that could be the best God has for me. They show me how if I were in charge of my own life, it would be miserable and empty. They show me that I can only put my trust in one person: Jesus. They show me that God is paying attention and that He knows my needs more than I do. It shows me that He's gently leading me where He wants me to go. It helps me see a little bit better what His voice is like so that, next time, when I hear Him telling me to stop, I come a little bit closer to listening. There won't be a next time on this front. They'll be other areas of my life where I will be confused by my own feelings. I knew when I was praying for this that it was out of convenience; I just hoped that this time...

But PRAISE GOD it didn't!!!!