The Covenant Renewed

How many times did Israel break their covenant with God? How many times did He restore it? To Moses He said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." He said this after the whole golden calf thing. In spite of all the many bad and silly things God's people did throughout their history, God never forgot His promise: to make a great nation to save the world. Our sin, our stupidity cannot foil God's will. We may disappoint Him sometimes, but His people cannot throw off His plan. It's a miracle, and it's a gift.

I have tried to earn God's love from the beginning. Sometimes I still wonder if I'm supposed to. I don't think I'm better than other people because of the things I do. Actually it's the opposite. I feel like the scum of the earth and that God could never love me unless I somehow made up for the fact that I'm an awful person. What I fail to realize is I'm no more awful than anybody else. Oh and the bigger thing I fail to realize:

While we were still powerless, at just the right time, Christ died for the ungodly.

Not for the good people. Not for the awesome believers who seem to have it all together. For the weak, powerless, hopeless messes who have no other chance or hope besides Christ's love. From page 1 to page last, the Bible is filled with this one promise, this one truth. The God is in the business of saving sinners, not saving the righteous. No one is righteous by themselves. No one. I need to learn to stop trying to be something I'm not.

Where does that leave us then? Wallowing in sin. This is also a struggle. How do we accept that we can't earn God's love and still try to be better? I want to be better. I hate who I am sometimes. I know God has called me to be so much more. But I'm focusing on all the slip-ups and mistakes I make and not the grace God has given me. All I see is what is still wrong and not what is right.

I cannot fall from God's love. I cannot earn it either. I strive for something I will not achieve until the very end. The finish line may be close, it may be far. God has given me just enough energy to run the whole race. No more. No less. I press on. God is my reward. He is all I'm living for. I obey His words. I worship Him. I seek to be what He's made me to be. Someday, it will happen.

On that day, well...look out!