On the go...

The sky is on fire with praise! Storms will come, a sailor's warning, but right now it's still just morning!

On the go...

God wrote me a life plan in words I don't know how to read. He tries to teach me everyday but I am too impatient to learn. Unable to understand all He's done.

At least I know it's written.

ATTN:

Sometimes it comes in an unanswered prayer. For me, I think it always comes in an unanswered prayer. Whenever I start thinking or planning something that isn't the will of God, He's pretty good about - huwack! - cutting me off!

I've prayed for some pretty silly stuff in my days. Some of it God has actually given to me. Some of it I changed my mind about before it really matter. Most of it He reject, Praise the LORD!!

But what has led me to pray for things against the will of God and my best interests (because the two are always one in the same)? Convenience. Lust. Jealousy. Selfishness. Recently, it's been convenience. My pure desperation for one thing in my life has led me to pray for it even when I know that the paths I'm praying over are the wrong ones. This things is something I know God wants for me. I'm just sick of waiting. I haven't even been waiting that long. The waiting is actually good. It's a blessing that God keeps ignoring my pleas. At the same time, I still want it to happen.

I can think of several distinct moments where if God had let me go down the path, not only would it not have ended the way I wanted, I also would have been so much more miserable than I can ever imagine. I praise God everyday for shut doors in my life. I pray that He would always shut doors for my own sake. I'm pretty good at knowing when God has shut the door versus when Satan is trying to stop me.

On this topic there are two prayers that I ask God would not leave unanswered: that He would shut any door that is not His will and that the only door He leaves open would be the one I'm supposed to take. So far, He's kept those promises. It's been 7 years since He made it. This is just another sign He plans to keep it.

I think unanswered prayers are my favorite way for God to speak to me. They humble me. They show me how big of a fool I am for thinking that could be the best God has for me. They show me how if I were in charge of my own life, it would be miserable and empty. They show me that I can only put my trust in one person: Jesus. They show me that God is paying attention and that He knows my needs more than I do. It shows me that He's gently leading me where He wants me to go. It helps me see a little bit better what His voice is like so that, next time, when I hear Him telling me to stop, I come a little bit closer to listening. There won't be a next time on this front. They'll be other areas of my life where I will be confused by my own feelings. I knew when I was praying for this that it was out of convenience; I just hoped that this time...

But PRAISE GOD it didn't!!!!

Living in Me

A song of my own composition. Been a long time coming...

Capo 3

Intro: E - C - G - D (2x)

Verse:

C

Walls I built in my heart

G

keep me far away from you

C

Broken promises never kept

E C D

led to all the tears I - I've wept

C

Fear consumes me to the core

G

that I might never know more of you

C

Sin has plagued me from the start

E C D

Who could ever clean this dirty heart?

Bridge:

E C

Doubt overwhelms my soul

G D

And I'm afraid to lose control

Chorus:

E C

I know you're alive

G D

I know you came and you died

E C

for my sin, rose again

G D

now you're living in me!

E C

I know you're alive

G D

I know you came and you died

E C

for my sin, rose again

G D

now you're living in me!

[Repeat Verse, Bridge, Chorus]

Refrain:

C G D

And who can take such love away?

C G D

Yeah, who can take such love away?

E

Sin cannot separate us!

C

Death cannot separate us!

G

Sin cannot separate us!

D

Death cannot separate us!

E

Sin cannot separate us!

C

Death cannot separate us!

G

Sin cannot separate us!

D

Sin cannot separate us!

Bridge:

E C

Doubt overwhelms my soul

G D

And I'm afraid to lose control

Chorus:

E C

I know you're alive

G D

I know you came and you died

E C

for my sin, rose again

G D

now you're living in me!

E C

I know you're alive

G D

I know you came and you died

E C

for my sin, rose again

G D

now you're living in me!

Refrain:

C G D

And who can take such love away?

C G D

Yeah, who can take such love away?

On the go...

New year, new you? It's hard to believe that 365 days can change your life completely. But greater things have been done in fewer days...I remain optimistic.

Early morning hymns

Some things are just too good! God knows our wants. God knows our needs. He responds accordingly. He knows our hearts and what we mean. He knows that sometimes we ask for something with only half our heart. Sometimes He gives it to us anyway. Sometimes we're not ready. Sometimes we are ready but don't ask. And then sometimes, God pulls out an Ace and throws you for a loop. Those are the best moments.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

and watch Him do a wondrous work.

Just to take Him at His word

and know He will come through in your desperation.

Just to rest upon His promise

and trust that He has not forgotten.

Just to know thus sayth the Lord

and the Word of the Lord is solid.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him

I could never wish for anything more!

How I proved Him o'er and o'er

in spite of every doubt!

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

the sweetest name I'll every hear!

Oh, for Grace to trust Him more

and Oh for mercy to call His name!

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him

in spite of all my other whims!

precious Jesus, Saviour, Friend

Hope, Joy, Peace are all His!

And I know that He is with me

even when I feel alone.

Will be with me to the end!

Yesterday, I was feeling low and desperate. I was looking at the mess I had made with my life - and what a mess it was becoming! I was upset with myself for being so timid and uncommitted-like in my faith. I prayed that God would give me an opportunity for to talk about how I love - and you know what? - HE DID!!! When God answers a prayer, what can compare to that? Even though it's been 10 hours, and I barely remember the words of my plee, I still can shake the feeling of joy!

Am I still weary? Am I still searching for rest? Yes. But seeing God's faithfulness makes it so much easier to have peace!

My blue Bible has some of its first markings. I started in John - my favorite book. The first verses really show God's timing and God's plan. His steadfastness. In the beginning was the Word. He was light and darkness has not overcome it. The Word became flesh that we may know Him who was with God and whom God sent. God knew the moment, from the beginning. Jesus knew it too. He was there making everything. Everything exists through Him. He came into His creation to show us who He is. Not to tell us, but to show us. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us! Promise made, promise kept. Talk about a plan! Talk about timing! So sweet!!

Let us labor for the Master from the dawn to setting sun!

Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care!

And when all of life is over, and our work on earth is done,

and the role is called up yonder, I'll be there!

On the go...

My weary soul longs for more.

I feel like I don't know who I am.

I try to find rest, but it won't be found.