Where I've been

A year ago, I specifically remember the pangs in my heart as I thought about facing the next day, even the next moment. I was totally dependent on God, constantly thinking of Him and longing for Him. But now things are better, I still think of Him often, but it's not the same. Even a few months ago I was at least caught up in praise. But my relationship with God should not be dependent on my circumstances. Even though things are great in my life, I still need God everyday. Even though things suck, I still have reason to praise God everyday. Circumstances are too temporary to determine our relationship with God. If all you can see is what is going on now, you miss what could be happening soon or even what has happened. But we are to forget what lies behind, even 2 seconds ago, and press on toward what lies ahead. Because what we are running to is far more important that anything that we are doing now or ever have done.

So I ask Lord that You draw me back. I'm not far from You but I know my relationship with You is not one of total dependence, as it should be. I am ashamed of the small steps I've taken away. Please forgive me! Lord, how You still love me, I don't understand, but I give my life to You. Take me Lord! My heart is desperate for You! I love You so much! All the things that I fill my mind with and that I fill my heart with don't matter at all compared to knowing You. Everything I do and everything I have don't matter at all compared to knowing You. I would give up everything to know You more! My awesome teaching year, my friends, my family, my new place, my new car, my income, my ability to run, all of it You can take God because it is all Yours. Lord, I do not want to be dependent on what I have or don't have or what is or isn't happening in my life. I count it all as loss compared to the surpassing wonder in knowing Christ Jesus! Search my heart God and find me! Be my one desire!

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Wages

Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due.

If we are justified by what we do, then there is no point in grace. Grace is not needed if the love and acceptance of God are the wages for what we do. It is not a gift.

But praise God that we can not earn His grace. Praise Him that we can never be justified by our works. Under the law or not, we can never do enough to stand before God. We can fall on our faces and beg for His love, but without His Son and acceptance of His Grace, we have nothing. We really aren't anything.

But He loves us. He chose us. He wants to use us to see His Will done. He has called each of us on a mission. And what are our wages for this type of work? Grace. A master does not have to thank his servant for doing his job. Likewise God does not owe us anything but our wages for this type of work. As believers, we are given Grace. As slaves to sin, we are given death. It's an easy choice really.

Lord, let Your grace fill my heart today! Let me work for Your Kingdom. Forgive the sin and evil in my heart. Forgive how much I go astray. Show me how to live only for You. Guide me in Your will today. I give this day to You. Let it glorify Your Holy Name. 

Praise You Father!
Amen. Amen. Amen.

Commendation

In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul writes this list of tings that He and the other disciples do in order to commend themselves to the churches. It is not a list of good works but of very painful events. Suffering. Hunger. Hatred. Persecution. You name it; it's on this list. There are some good things there too. Having God's power. Speaking truth. Love. As I read it, I see the list of what we must do to be a Christian. Not just day to day obedience, but day to day battles. I really do think that if you aren't struggling and fighting, something is probably wrong.

Which means for me, something is probably wrong...

Lord, help me to dive into situations where I can talk about You. Do not let me fear mentioning You and correcting according to Your desires. I pray that  I would be sold out for You. I pray that my desires for myself would fade away and that I would only desire You.

I give you my life!

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Church

It's fun -awesome really to consider what a real Spirit filled service would be like. Everyone contributing what it is they have been blessed with. People prophecying. People building each other up all for the glory of God. What a fearsome sight to behold. Can you imagine if we did Church this was? I know there are places where they do,  which is crazy to me.

What would be my role in said service. Paul clearly believes I shouldn't have one because of the whole being a woman thing. But surely there's a place for me and my gifts...whatever those may be.

I wish the Church wouldn't fear doing church this way. There's nothing to fear. Except the presence of God.

Lord, I pray that somehow this type of passion might begin to appear on you church. I pray we would not fear the awkward or uncomfortable-rather that we would embrace it. Let us seek true worship and true abandonment to you. Be in everything I do today let it all bring You fame.

Amen. Amen. Amen

Shtaaap

There are so many things we can do to block the message of the Gospel. It's so easy for our selves to get in the way of the Good News of Jesus. It's so difficult to be discerning enough to see what is ok and what is not. In some situations, some things are fine. In other situations, those same things are a total road block to the Gospel. We are called to be so in-tune with the Spirit that we have no trouble recognizing these moments. We can see where a person is and what they need to hear. Jesus was the master of this. He always knew just what a person needed. It's not that the message ever changed, but He was always changing His presentation. It's incredible to watch. Paul says he became all things to all people. He says that he would rather forgo wages if it would block the Gospel. He is clearly willing to sacrifice anything to win souls. You hear his passion in every word. Why aren't we all like him?

Lord, let my heart burn with passion for the lost. Let my mind be constantly thinking about furthering the Kingdom. I do not desire a life that is so focused on self it forgets others. Let my heart be open to You and Your will. give me wisdom and discernment today to see how to honor You. Let everything I do bring You glory. Let that be my goal!

Amen. Amen. Amen.

What makes a brother stumble?

So I like to drink sometimes. It's not the best habit but I certainly never drink to be drunk. However, recently I have been reconsidering my logic. There once was s time where I wouldn't because I felt that the world's relationship with alcohol was not something I wanted to be associated with. Upon reading 1 Corinthians 8, I begin to see the logic in that train of thought. It's not bad; it's not even discouraged, but one does have to be careful who knows you drink. I probably do have friends with weak consciences who don't know better and I have to be careful how I conduct myself with them. I still enjoy a drink now and then but I definitely still calm it down.

In other news, one thing that has really gotten to m e lately is just how privileged i am. I woke up this morning to an alarm on a nice new cell phone. I took a hot shower and ate breakfast. I have unlimited access to God's Word. I even have several study books I'm working through to help me understand the Bible better. All this is at my finger tips because I live in America. Why me? Why here? This is what I wonder.

God show me the plan you have. Why have You put me where I am to live through what I luve through? My life is incredible thanks to You. I praise You for the rich bkessings in my life. Help me to see each of them. Guide me in Your will today! I love You. I need You!

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Wishdum

God does not want us to thing we are wise. God does not want us to fill ourselves with wisdom of the world that we might boast in this wisdom. God has done something that doesn't make sense in the world's eyes in order to make it that much harder to believe. It doesn't make sense that Jesus would die on the cross and then come back to life. Why? That's just silly. But that's the point. God doesn't want us to believe in Him because it makes sense. He wants our complete faith-driven devotion. This happens when we believe in something that isn't logical. Then, He took it a step farther. God doesn't always call the wise or the strong to do jobs that require wise and strong people. At least not people who fit these molds by the world's standards. No God chooses the weak and the uneducated to shame those who would think themselves great. Many a great evangelist has struggled with speech problems. People born with disorders of various kinds are called to awesome Kingdom work. God gives wisdom where it is needed and strength where it is need. God is after all the ultimate source of these things. Books, universities  TV none of these possess any wisdom that matters in the Kingdom of God. Not to say they are totally worthless, but I did just say it. There are so many other things that matter so much more, and funny story, they ALL come from God.

Lord, help me to be wise in You. Grant me Your wisdom and discernment. Let me walk in humility like Christ. Let me only boast in what You have done for me. Let my thoughts be on Your Kingdom. Let me heart break for the things that break Your heart. Let me seek the things You seek. Let me be like You.

Amen. Amen. Amen.