Sometimes it's really hard to keep going. I'm half convinced that I've been lying to myself and that the career that I've chosen couldn't be more wrong. But then I remember that God never would have let me get this job if He wasn't going to somehow glorify himself in it. I'm waiting for that point. I want to see God glorifying himself. I don't even want any of the splash-over glory. I'd be fine to never get anything. I just want to feel like I'm doing something right.
Of course none if could matter. The Lord could come tonight. I've been reading Jesus's words on the subject. About how we don't know in what hour the Son will come. Will it really matter how my job is if the world is over? Nope. Have I wished for the end of days before to avoid hard situations? Yep. Is that wierd? Maybe.
I pray that I am awake and moving. Let me not fall asleep or be so busy keeping up that I stop keeping on track.
Father, I really don't know what I'm doing anymore!! Please, throw me a bone!
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