10 November 2011

Upset in the routine

Or at least that's how I feel right now. Of all the things I did right today, I of course am fixated on all the things I did wrong. It was far too long of a list and I feel science. Why does it bother me so much? Why do I let things affect me so much? It can't be because I care that much...can it?

This has no relation to what I've read the last few days. That's all been about the Last Supper and Jesus' betrayal...

All that really sticks out to me is relating to the sorrow that Peter would have felt when h realized that he had indeed denied Jesus 3 times. Its easy to look back 2000 years later and say "If I had been there I would have stood up for Jesus!" But who of us can say that? How can we claim to know how we would react conditionally. The second you say would have you nullify your claim. If it ain't hard fast indictive verbs then your really just speculating.

I probably would have done just like Peter and wept bitterly until I saw my Lord again. And when I saw Him again I'd been on my face begging forgiveness. That's how I feel anyway...

Please restore me Lord! I feel empty!

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