"Then I said, 'Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say, "I am only a youth"; for to all to who I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.'"
-Jeremiah 1:6-8
Literally, that sounds like me. "No God, I can't...I'm too young!" Like, did Jeremiah know me? Seriously...coming across things like this just reminds me of how alive Scripture is. Lord, I'm so sorry for thinking I'm too young! I'm so sorry for trying to contain Your work with excuses like that. It doesn't matter if I'm not enough for the task, because You are! Anywhere I fall short, You excel! Anywhere I'm not enough, You're everything! I may be young, but I have You. Nothing can stop me!
"How well you direct your course to seek love!"
-Jeremiah 2:33
What do I seek when I go astray? Love. We all want love. Recognition. For me, I want the love of a man. I ignore that God is more than enough love for me, and I say things like, "God's love isn't enough. I want to be loved by a person, by a husband." The only problem is God's love is enough. God's love is like a husband. The ultimate Husband. Like, no one's gonna be a better life partner than God. Yet, I have dedicated so much time and energy to finding, earning, keeping love. Has it worked? No. Has anyone ever loved me that way? No. Does it upset me? Often. Is it a challenge? Of course. Am I trying to change? You bet. So much so, that I did something crazy. I've made a 180 in my life trying to break the habits. One of my favorite past times has been fantasizing up a life with random guys I see (notice I did not say meet). I see a cute boy, or better yet actually meet one, and I immediately start working out in my mind how he could be the one. I know it's sad; I'm ashamed to be quite honest. I mean, who does that? (Me.) Anyway, through some moments and some Scripture, God told me to stop. So starting June 16 for a year, I'm not liking boys. Have I been successful? Eh.... It's tough. I can't do it alone, and it's an uphill fight. I have to rely on God to take away the thoughts and to focus me on him. Fortunately, I have a lot on my plate right now to distract me. Not to mention, my other favorite past time is avoiding guys like the plague.
I lead a special life...
"And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding."
-Jeremiah 3:15
That's a promise. God says to Israel, if you come back, I'll help you. Shepherds like David. Or even better, the Ultimate Shepherd, Jesus. God doesn't want us to go it alone. He wants to have us be fed. He wants us to learn and grow. He wants us to not struggle everyday. He doesn't want us to feel like we're fighting a losing battle. He's not a mean God who enjoys watching us suffer. He wants to make it easy. His road is narrow, but His burden is light. It may be difficult to stay on course, but He's there helping us!
That's a promise and a guarantee.
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