Anxiety

Anxiety in a man's heart wears him down, but a good word makes him glad.

I long for these good words and seek them out. When I am most anxious, then I am most hungry for Your Word and Teachings. When I am uncertain or stressed, the only place I can find reprieve is in the Word. That is how I came upon the radio station I listen to. I was going through the worst of it, and I need more than just a superficial Christian radio station in the car. I needed something with meat and potatoes. I found this station that not only has scripture-based music by awesome artists, but it also has scripture read over the airways and teachings from well-known, godly people. It's such a blessing to listen to during my commute, and I'm so glad God reminded me of its existence.

This is what we have to do when anxiety comes around. I'm very familiar with anxiety. Short of actually have some sort of mental disorder, anxiety really plagues me. I worry about silly things too. It's not like I'm concerned about whether or not my friend will go to heaven if they die. No, that might be an acceptable form of anxiety. What I feel is anxiety over my future. Fear. I used to be afraid all the time. To the point I couldn't even sleep. Not afraid of real things, but whatever my mind could cook up. A robber outside my window. My life is somewhat void of real problems, but that doesn't mean the problems I have don't provide sufficient stress and anxiety. Praise the Lord I've been set free of the fear that I battled in middle school and high school. Praise the Lord He has offered me good words in the times of anxiety.

I worry about being good enough. I'm convinced that I am not alone among Christians. I'm referring to the so-called "life-long" Christians. None of us have been Christians all our lives, but it feels that way. We've grown up knowing that there is an impossible standard that we are supposed to reach. We spend the next 20 years or so on one of 2 paths: rebelling from that standard or feeling completely worthless because of it. We spend that time slowly learning that we really aren't supposed to ever get there. That God doesn't love us because of what we do. That God doesn't want us just when we make Him proud or when we live up to our potential. God wants us. period. All the time. If He expected us to be perfect He wouldn't have wasted His time sending His Son down to earth. If we were supposed to live up to the standard, then the old system would have worked out just fine. We could have all just gone to hell for our sins and that would have been that. But that's not what happened. God saw we would never live up, so He made a way for us to be with Him. We still have to be flawless to enter His presence, but when He looks at me now, He doesn't see my mistakes because they have been forgiven and promptly forgotten. What I've done doesn't matter near as much as what I will do. God doesn't care about where we are coming from near as much as where we are going. He wants us to change and to start obeying the Law of Righteousness which He has given us through His Spirit. It's not a list of do's and don'ts but rather a guide to the Kingdom. To where God is and what needs to be done.

I say all this as if I am some sort of expert. HA! Have I ever acted in a way that is worthy of the name Christian? See what I mean about not feeling good enough. I look at myself and see nothing but short-comings. Praise be to God who can look past them.

Lord, I pray that You would help me see past my short-comings and rely on You to fill in the gaps. Help me to be like Paul who rejoiced in his short-comings, weakenesses, and failures. I want to live a life devoted to You and free from anxieties, fears, and worries. Let the Truth that I know permeate into my thoughts and actions. Let Your Word be ever on my lips and ever in my heart. Teach me. Guide me in the way everlasting. Most of all, take away the lie that it matters that I am not good enough. Of course I'm not! But Praise be to You, Lord, that You are more than enough!!!


AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!